Nunca mais guarde rancor
Na vida, sempre haverá um lado positivo e um lado negativo nas coisas, e cabe a você decidir como quer viver sua vida. Claro, cada escolha vem com uma consequência, e dependendo do que você escolher, isso irá melhorar ou prejudicar a qualidade de sua vida e a vida daqueles ao seu redor. Por essa razão, você precisa pensar cuidadosamente se vale a pena se apegar a certos sentimentos que só prejudicam seu coração, como o ressentimento.
When someone hurts, offends, or wounds us, we have only two options: move forward and leave the pain behind, or dwell on the hurt and resentment, living in the past and unable to embrace the present.
In the end, when we cannot forgive, we end up causing even more harm to ourselves. We become trapped in negative feelings that drain us and make us unhappy, as they prevent us from seeing our reality clearly, stopping us from moving forward and finding happiness.
Many people confuse forgiveness with forgetting what happened or pretending nothing occurred, but that’s a significant misunderstanding. Forgiving does not mean ignoring the pain inflicted on us or erasing the memory of what happened. Forgiving means understanding that the person who hurt you had and still has nothing more to offer than what they gave. It means realizing that people can only give what they possess. No one can give love without being loved. No one can make another happy if they are unhappy. It’s a matter of logic. So, when someone wrongs us, the problem is not with us but with them.
It is unfair to remain bound to grievances that only harm us. It’s not right to feed our sadness and resentment, as that only inflicts more pain.
But after all, what are the main harmful effects that resentment and grudges bring to our lives?
Children don’t know how to react to various situations. After all, they aren’t born knowing how to behave in different scenarios. They learn by observing the behavior of their parents and those around them.
Example: A child doesn’t know they should say thank you when they receive a gift. That’s something parents teach through their actions. If a child sees their parents expressing gratitude when receiving something, they will understand that it’s the right thing to do and follow suit.
The truth is that throughout life, there will always be people who hurt us, and our children need to be prepared to deal with such situations and know how to move forward. They need to understand that holding onto sadness and resentment only harms them, making them unhappy and stuck in the past. Therefore, set an example of overcoming and forgiving so they will know what to do when they face their own grievances.
Feelings of anger and bitterness fuel anxiety and stress. Don’t allow yourself to remain mentally stuck on a situation that hurt you. Your frustration won’t solve anything. In fact, all your anger, bitterness, and desire for revenge will slowly and painfully deteriorate your mental health.
According to a study conducted at Harvard, people who hold grudges are five times more likely to suffer a heart attack and three times more likely to experience a stroke. In addition to heart problems, individuals who harbor intense anger are 34% more likely to develop diabetes.
Since resentment and bitterness bring anxiety and stress, your sleep is affected. Your body cannot fully relax amidst so much tension, your brain remains on high alert, and your heart cannot find peace amid anger and sadness. As a result, your entire body struggles to rest, causing insomnia and poor-quality sleep.
Forgiving does not mean forgetting or returning to the same relationship you had with the person who hurt you. Forgiveness is about understanding that the individual acted with what was in their heart.
We must forgive because we love ourselves and want to be happy. Move forward!
By Suzana Villanueva
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